Exploring Eroticism: Integrating unconscious or hidden aspects of ourselves can happen through the process of acknowledging hidden desires, sexual fantasies, and core erotic themes in our eroticism. Usually at the heart of the fantasy is a longing for a lost aspect of self which has little to do with the actual sexual act. The arousal response is the bodies way of drawing attention to something within the unconscious that needs to be addressed. By accepting your desires and fantasies and mindfully feeling the intensity of their charge, you liberate the lost aspect of self from repression into wholeness. The exploration of desires can happen through direct experience of the fantasy or a symbolic gesture that evokes the intensity of the charge. Sometimes it is enough to just say yes to letting yourself have the fantasy by acknowledging it without judgement. Honest and thorough exploration of our unprocessed desires eventually empties the grasping mind, opening our sexuality to greater presence, sensitivity and depth.
Exploring the Hearts Desire: Most spiritual paths teach the repression or transcending of desire. Desire is thought to be a seduction that can corrupt us away from our spiritual growth. On the Tantric path, Desire is to be turned towards and lived into. This is not a purely hedonistic or self indulgent pursuit. Rather, it is an aligning with the arising of a true hearts desire as a deep whisper in the soul. Desire shows us where there is medicine for us. Imagine if you let yourself want what you truly want? Not from the conditioning you were raised in or the false desires of the mind or self image. But the secret longing of your true self? What if the energy of Desire alone is life giving? What if it could align you with the erotic vitality at the core of existence? Even if it is not pursued to fulfillment? What would it be like to let yourself desire without having the pressure to achieve any of it? And what if you had the permission and the courage to allow yourself to explore your desires? In Tantra, the only true Desire is for the Self. When Desire is engaged with presence, it will always deliver us to our true Desire: Ourselves.